status: complicated

Funny when we notice how people complicate things. We always have a say on what should be or should have been done, and what should have not been done at all. We tend to act learned. Experts. But when the situation strikes and we find ourselves a part of the complication, we forget. And when advised to keep things simple, we tend to think they don't understand. It's complicated, we tell them. Just like in love, the more you fall to it, the comlicated it gets. We still love inspite of this. It hurts, yes. So what?

love is.

He is rather early for work today. As a matter of fact, he is three hours early. He buys a pack of cigar at a convenient store located on the ground floor, just beside the entrance of their office. Office. Such a funny word to describe the place where he is working at. At least for him it is. He decides to go straight up to the roof deck. What a great way to start the day than damaging your lungs some more, he thinks. He takes one stick and lights it up.

His heart starts beating really fast when he recognizes the person approaching him. It's M. He got this thing for the guy. And M knows it. M is the code he uses at the office so that not everybody would know who it is he has a crush on.

M lights his cigarette up and puffs the first smoke in a manner so seductive he can kill someone by it. But it is not M intention to seduce him. Or anybody for that matter. That he knows.

Why are you here so early, M asks.

To see you, he replies. Then they both laugh.

Seriously, he added after awhile.

The subtlety of how he expresses what's real, as they both know it, makes them laugh again.

duplicity.

The first scene was so beautiful. We see Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti, shouting at each other at first then on a fist fight. Then I realized Elwsit photographed it. Robert Elswit is one of the many people I truly admire. He knows what he is doing, and he is doing it with such brilliance. I wonder if I can be that kind of person. Someone who is sure with what he wants (to do) and can do it with a heart. With love. With passion. I wonder when it will happen to me, or if it will ever happen at all.

about M.

I have not written anything in here in a long time. Been so into Facebook and Twitter lately, so I sort of not been able to find time to blog. And there's M. The reason why I am so eager to go to work everyday inspite the fact that I despise what I do there. If only I have been able to find the time, I would have written so many entries by now. All about M. That would probably bore others, including myself. But that would be the most honest I can get. Ever. I'm thinking record-breaking.

he can be joker, only he's not funny

I am literally addicted to The Office. In case you haven't heard of it yet (Shame on you. Just kidding), it's an American TV series aired by NBC (I think). It stars Steve Carell as Michael, who is so obnoxious you'd kill yourself whenever he's around. What is so annoying about him is that he doesn't seem to be aware that he is, well, very annoying. He thinks of himself otherwise.

'The office' is in a chaos all the time. All the time. This needs to be emphasized. You have people like Dwight there- who is, by the way, as spiteful as Michael. But there are cute and lovable characters as well like Jim and Pam. I like Toby, too, for reasons still unclear to me. Although 'the office' can be as hell as any other working environment can be, I would love to be in there. I want to be a part of a family of crazy individuals who can sometimes be difficult to deal with. Because in the 'the office', and this is just based on how I feel when watching it, you feel alive. You know that feeling when you think that something bad happens you think ruins everything, by the end of the day, when you're already lying on your bed, you still feel happy and content? I don't know how to explain it. I just feel it sometimes. That's I think how it would feel working there.

And the thing I said (or wrote) about Michael awhile ago is what you'd probably see when you see him. However, there are moments that you would think he knows exactly how obnoxious he is. He is just trying to be likable, and he fails terribly. He is still the best boss in the world for me though, as what we see is printed on his mug

to the Z

I have watched 17 Again again this afternoon. Why? Well, aside from the fact that I do not have anything else to do and that I am bored to death (I am just exaggerating, ofcourse), I do not feel that well. On the inside. I am glad to have seen the movie again. There are moments in there that when you look at Efron and pay very close attention, you'd see not only great talent but sincerity. And it fucking kills me. Seriously.

M.

We were at a coffee shop along Boni Ave., our favorite place. It used to be our favorite place. I am not really in the mood for coffee, but you were very insistent. A frap isn't that bad, I joked.

How are you, I asked.

Fine.

Just fine?

Then I looked at you in the eyes, and I knew right then.

You're not inlove anymore, are you?

I don't know.

You don't know?

I don't know.

Okay.

Okay.

So what now?, I asked.

I don't know.

Okay.

Okay, you said. Then you looked away.

And that was it. Sometimes people fall out of love because they have found someone new to fall inlove with. Sometimes, they get tired of being the only one who loves. And sometimes, they just do. It's the hardest because you can't do anything about it.