Killing Them Not So Softly

I hate a lot of people. Sometimes I'm thinking of just strangling them until they die. But that would require effort. I don't have the time and strength for that. Maybe I'll just kill them here, in my mind.

In Your Atmosphere

If hotness has another name, John Mayer would probably be it. As a matter of fact he's so hot I'm melting. And I don't just mean physically. He writes music too, and sings them in a way that you'd find it hard not to listen to him. But I really mean physically.

So Often

Don't have anything interesting in mind to write about but the 'urge' to write is too much to ignore. So here I am, typing.

An Important Film

I watched Traffic again last night, and it is, by the way, my new number one movie. It talks about drug trafficking between the U.S. and Mexico. It also shows us how the 'traffic' affects so many lives, especially that of the youth. We also witness corruption that in a way strenghten the 'traffic'.

Somewhere in the middle part of the film, we see Javier Rodriguez (played by the great Benicio Del Toro), a police officer in Mexico, talking with two agents from the U.S on how they can work to eliminate the 'traffic between the two countries. One of the agents tells Rodriguez that they pay for the information he can provide them, and asks if it is what he wanted, the money. Rodriguez asks them then if they like baseball, which they both say yes to. "We need lights for the parks, so kids can play at night. So they can play baseball. So they don't become burros para los malones. Everyone likes baseball. Everyone likes parks," he then said. And in the last shot of the film, we see kids playing baseball. Then we hear applause. There is Rodriguez, among others who are watching the game, clapping. He seems content, happy. In his point of view, we see, again, the kids playing baseball in the field, with lights. It may seem just an ordinary shot for others, but not for me. It is so beautiful it makes me cry.

And with that alone, the movie has shown it all. If God has seen that scene, He would have been very proud he might cry.

Yeah, It's Human Nature

Anybody who knows me well enough does have an idea how addicted I am with movies. I have seen quite a few, and some of these films I've seen for as many times one can only imagine. It is through watching movies, aside from reading literature and listening to music, that I'm able to reach nirvana. And it is a dream of mine to be able to create my own masterpiece comes my own time. I hope I'll be able to do that. I'm a bit skeptical with my future, though, considering the rate of how things are going on so far in this little world of mine. But as a man that I am, I still dare to dream. Dreaming keeps me alive. Let's just call it "human nature."

Anyway I don't mean to talk about myself. I've been meaning to talk about my new number one movie of all time. Maybe I'll just do it next time.

Horses In Cold Blood

So okay, I'm not exactly back. I still find writing hard. Sometimes it gets boring, too. But most of the time it's hard. At least for me it is. I could have written thousands of stories and essays already. Only I don't have the talent. Or the voice. All I have is experience. Not in writing though. I mean, experience that would look great in print.

*****
Tonight, I am proud to announce that I have finished reading All The Pretty Horses (McCarthy) and In Clood Blood (Capote). Finally. Because mind you, I have been reading these books since, I can't recall anymore, time immemorial. (Is the sentence even correct?) I have always loved McCarthy. He has written my favorite novel of all time: The Road. Pretty Horses would normally appear boring, but McCarthy is such a genius you'd think he's god. And of course there's Capote. It has been said, or written, that this book, Blood, destroyed him. Not that the book is bad (As a matter of fact, it's one of the best I've read in my entire "reading" career). Just watch Capote because only by watching it, I think, you'd be able to understand the fuck I'm writing about. And that ending, oh.

Another One Of These

So I erased my multiply account. I cancelled my friendster account as well. I stopped blogging with wordpress. This is what happens when I find myself.

And I am back.

1984

read george orwell's 1984 and be stunned [wink]. it is powerful [as angus described it].

elephant

Elephant is such a great film. Gus Van Sant is such a great writer and director. And Ludwig van Beethoven, ah, is heaven.

back to BSB

I'm starting to love Backstreet Boys. Again. I used to love them way back in HS. Their Never Gone album is just wonderful.

pause.breath

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is, yes, a very long title for a film. But it's forgivable. Why? Because it's awesome. This is from someone who hates Brad Pitt.

little children

It's not as great as In The Bedroom but it got something huge to offer. I'm not quite sure what that something is right now but trust me, it's something beautiful.

This is another film from the genius Todd Field.

politics vs. politics

Lozada should be cast in abs-cbn's Maging Sino Ka Man. He is that good. But then again, it wouldn't do the show any good.

They said they just want to know the truth. Is it the truth they really want or the kind of truth they already have in mind. And they said they want change. Isn't it what we've been doing and getting for the past years? I hate history [the subject], but at this point in time, it can be a very helpful reminder.

and there's a winner

I'm happy that No Country For Old Men won Best Picture in Oscars. But I can't be that happy because There Will Be Blood didn't.

No Country, for me, is so McCarthy. Simple but intelligent. Blood, on the other hand, is, and will always be, a masterpiece.

*******

Pulp Fiction is cool, but is it that beautiful? Almost. It's fun though.

hot spy, and the debater

ALIAS is still hot. And so as Jennifer Garner.

Rocket Science, a movie by the 2007 Sundance Best Director Jeffrey Blitz, is really good. And just like any great film, it leaves you something [not just laughter]. I owe this movie a lot. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed so hard I couldn't breath anymore. This movie reminds me of that. And I kind of miss it.

my oscars goes to...

Best motion picture of the year:

"Atonement" (Focus Features)
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

****** I hope Blood wins. If not, I hope they give it to No Country. Clayton? Are you serious? It isn't even close to Persepolis [which is an animated film]. If Blood or No Country can't win, can they [voters] just not give the award at all?

Performance by an actor in a leading role:
George Clooney in "Michael Clayton"
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood"
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah"
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises"

****** I'm sure Day-Lewis will win. Viggo is my second choice [and I love him in Eastern.

Performance by an actress in a leading role:
Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"
Julie Christie in "Away from Her"
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose"
Laura Linney in "The Savages"
Ellen Page in "Juno"

****** Haven't seen Away From Her, La Vie en Rose and The Savages. Give it to Page for a change. I'm forever inlove with Blanchett though. Can I marry her?

Performance by an actor in a supporting role:
Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War"
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild"
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton"

****** Have seen Into The Wild and Assassination of Jesse James. Bardem is really good [and irritating] in No Country, but Hoffman is witty and superb in Wilson's War. Go Capote!

Performance by an actress in a supporting role:
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There"
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster"
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement"
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone"
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton"

******This is really a competition. I love Dee in Gangster, but only Blanchett can do Dylan.

Achievement in directing:
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Julian Schnabel
"Juno" Jason Reitman
"Michael Clayton" Tony Gilroy
"No Country for Old Men" Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" Paul Thomas Anderson

****** The Coens might take home the award, or even Schnabel but Anderson created a masterpiece [and I love him]. David Cronenberg [Eastern Promises] should be on the list.

Achievement in cinematography:
"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" Roger Deakins
"Atonement" : Seamus McGarvey
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Janusz Kaminski
"No Country for Old Men" Roger Deakins
"There Will Be Blood" Robert Elswit

****** Elswit!!!! camera work, angle, lighting.. wow.

Adapted screenplay:
"Atonement" (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
"Away from Her" (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

****** Havent seen The Diving Bell [It's in French]. Blood, I hope, will win.

Original screenplay:
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
"Lars and the Real Girl" (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
"The Savages" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

****** Haven't seen The Savages. Cody speaks my language.

Best foreign language film of the year:
"Beaufort" Israel
"The Counterfeiters" Austria
"Katyn" Poland
"Mongol" Kazakhstan
"12" Russia

****** I know, I know, Diving Bell isn't France official entry [It should be in the best pic category]. And yes I haven't seen it yet. But if you've seen Clayton, you think of the others which could have taken its spot. Juno is great but I don't think it should be in the best pic race as well. And what happened to 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days [Romania]!? Persepolis [France] should have been included here and not in best animated film. It's that good. So I don't care whoever wins this one.

Best animated feature film of the year:
"Persepolis" (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
"Surf's Up" (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

****** Come'on, give Persepolis what is due for it. It's even better than Clayton. I wouldn't mind if this wins the Best Pic Award. It's that good.


I hope Blood takes home everything.

truth hurts, and is scary

Please watch An Inconvenient Truth, and then think. Then act.

let's save the light

If you have to die right now, and you really need to read one novel before dying, please make it The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Please. Time is running out, atleast do something worthy while you still have some.

And you really don't have to die though before you read this novel. It is beautiful. And more.

'I drink your milkshake!'

Nobody can deliver this line with such intensity, in a super huge movie, than Daniel Day-Lewis. It makes me wanna consider milkshake, but I'm scared he'll drink it up.

the other

I like blogging with wordpress better.

touch my body

Oh, I don't mean it that way. Just found out that Mariah Carey has a new album, and Touch my Body is her new single. I love it.

greatest novel

Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Hand him the Nobel. Pulitzer just isn't enough.

greatest movie

There Will Be Blood. Wow! And there's Daniel Day-Lewis. Wow! Hope it wins the Oscars. It deserves it, but we can never tell.

No Country For Old Men comes next.

atonement won BAFTA's best film

Whatever.

lesson 102

a man knows when to stop.

everything.

My phone's camera isn't the best but I admire how much beauty it can capture.

I miss and love you baby, even if you're giving me headaches sometimes.

the others

02-03-08 nobody

02-03-08 Rose

2007 vase
I made this last year with Paint. God, I miss me.

deja vu, but not really

I was looking for pirated dvd copies of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Persepolis (of France) and 4Months, 3 Weeks and 2 days (of Romania) last Friday night at this small stall near the building where I work at. Unfortunately, the said movies were not yet available. So I opted to TV series. I was very lucky, and very happy, to have found a season 1 copy of one of my favorite series of all time: Felicity. So that same night ('til Saturday morning) I watched it. I've realized how much I miss Felicity, and even Ben and Noel, and I'm reminded of how much I love it after watching its first 22 episodes. I was very young then when I first saw the series. I felt inlove with it right away. Now that I'm old enough, I still love it. I guess my heart never really grew old, if you get what I mean.

Anyway, the reason why I love Felicity is the fact that I can relate to it- with the story and the characters. It's nice (and I feel great) to see someone go through the same things (situations/ fuck ups) I did or I'm going through right now and commit the same mistakes I have committed (and learned from it). The idea made me feel I'm not alone, you know. And it's cool.

bad hairday

I had my hair done last night in one of the barber shops near our apartment. You see, my hair has its own life. It grows in a way it sees fit. It's uncontrolable. Funny thing is that the barber kept on asking me what I would want him to do with it (the hair). It's as if he didn't have any idea, and was propably thinking that nothing can save me from it (the hair). So I told him what I wanted (how I wanted it to be). While he was doing my hair, I can see, on the look on his face, that he was having a hard time, and that he's a bit skeptical about the whole thing. It scared me.

Now I look like (or my hair looks like that of) Javier Bardem in the movie No Country for Old Men (only mine is worse).

lit 104

I Am Not There
The Inconsistent

Take that pen and write
For you have the hands of a writer

Go tell your story and that of others
That I, and them, may find comfort from it

Then don't forget to write for me
Because I- even with a story to tell-
Unlike you, is not a storyteller

I may have your heart,
But never your hands.

ennis

You broke my heart once. You broke it again. You'll be missed.

bloody II

There Will Be Blood.

Oh my God. Oh my God. The experience of watching this huge film is breathtaking. It's like seeing God descends from heaven with His angels while satan and his pack are waiting on earth for the final battle. It felt like the 'end'.

Oh my God.

*******

This is one of my favorite reviews for the film by MaryAnn Johanson.

"...There Will Be Blood slaps you in the face. It’s Joe Pesci in GoodFellas raging, “Do I amuse you? Do I entertain you?” in that way that suggests that it could not give two figs what you think of it. It says, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, sitting there in the theater?” Blood is not contemptuous of you -- it just doesn’t care what you think about it. It is not there for you, for your amusement, for your entertainment. It is there for itself. It is a found object that might well have sprung in its entirety out of the subatomic froth of the universe. In the superbly philosophical vernacular of the moment that encompasses all the randomness of the world into a whaddaya-gonna-do shrug, it is what it is. "

So true.

jun-awe-some

Juno is fun (thanks to the superb screenplay by Diablo Cody) and at the same time, touching and sincere. It's definitely a feel-good movie, and more. It has a heart, a huge one, and it beats beautifully. I can't help but fall inlove with it. I watched it on mute (because I'm at work) yesterday- that's after I have read the script. Some may call it craziness (I mean, me, watching the movie on mute). I call it experience and pure pleasure.

fourth of july

I really thought I would not be able to bring myself back to reading again. I have been busy, very busy, that is, with watching movies (old and new ones) that the thought (or even an attempt) of spending a few hours or even minutes with books (reading) had already seemed almost impossible. But since it felt like I have already watched all the movies there are worthy to be watched, and that I've been reading this Independence Day, on and off, by Richard Ford, for months now (which I realized wasn't a good sign), I decided, finally, last night, to give it another try (just finished reading it this morning). And I believe I have made the right decision.

I admired how Richard Ford depicted American life through the struggle of one of the most unforgettable characters in American Fiction, Frank Bascombe. I have learned to love and respect Frank (and also Ford) since his sportswriting days (read The Sportswriter by the same author, which is the prequel of Independence Day). I think I, in more ways than one, can relate with Frank's character. And I think this is the reason why I love the book and the character. For one to be able to really know Frank though, and to realize how good a writer Ford is, one needs to read both novels mentioned above. Independence Day is now one of my favorite books and Richard Ford, one of my favorite writers.

The book, Independence Day, won the Pulitzer Prize for Literature in 1996.

Ford, and his talent for writing, will make you realize how good writing and a writer can become. I think I love him na.

lesson 101

The worst thing about having a job is having one that takes all the sanity in you. I'm talking about the kind of job some people would consider better than other jobs available for grab until they experience it themselves; I'm talking about the kind of job I have.

To be quite honest, being a call center whore (Technical Support Representative) isn't the hardest job there is. It isn't hard at all in the first place. But it isn't something I love doing. Imagine, I have been in this job for more than a year. It's like committing suicide, I mean being in this job this long, except that it doesn't kill me, literally. It's killing me in a different way; in a way I'd rather not go through, if I really have a choice. So why stick with this job, right? Well, what else can I have? I can't choose now. There are no choices available anyway. In a country such as ours, one needs to have a college degree for him/her to get a job he/she really wants. And just as fucked as life can be, sometimes, one, even with a college diploma, end up working in fast food chains and call centers. I don't have anything against these people though (hey, I'm one of them.) If they're happy with what they are doing, I'm happy for them. It's just that I think they deserve something better.

I may be earning 'enough'; I may be able to provide for my family and buy things for myself, but I'm losing a part of me. A big part of me. In times like this, I have realized that money isn't really everything; Happiness and contentment are. And being able to still have respect to your own self isn't something money can buy.

So if you happen to read this, try to do things that makes you happy. I don't mean things that you 'think' can make you happy, okay? If you really have to find a high paying job, then do it. Just don't turn yourself back from that very thing that keeps you complete, and that which makes you YOU.

the list

I wanted to write something interesting but I couldn't think of a topic. And since I have already become a movie addict (and I'm happy with it), I thought of coming up with a list of movies I've seen last year (or should I say, movies released last year- 2007 - that I happened to have watched, regardless the year; ones seen this year), and which I loved.

Here's the List:

There Will Be Blood (seen Jan 21)
3:10 to Yuma
No Country for Old Men
Eastern Promises
Charlie Wilson's War (seen Jan 10)
Juno (seen Jan 16)
Gone Baby Gone
Once
Atonement
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
We Own the Night
Lust, Caution
Knocked Up
Superbad
The Namesake
American Gangster
I'm Not There
Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (seen Jan 17)

*******

Some of the movies included on the list haven't been shown here yet, but I have my resources, you know. I'm still looking forward to seeing There Will Be Blood and a whole lot more (4 Months 3 Weeks And 2 Days, The Diving Bell And The Butterfly, Away From Her, Juno, etc.) If there's one thing I hate about living in this country, it's the fact that it takes months before movies get shown here from their released date. You end up watching movies like Katas ng Saudi and Anak ni Kumander. But I chose to live and not kill myself by not watching these crap.

typing 101

What can be more beautiful than a romantic love story is another love story. A love story that is not determined by how much the other party makes you feel nervous, intoxicated and a little high at times (a mixture of these and some others); of how much a person can make you heart go to a series of never ending thud, thud, thud (...it goes on and on.) The kind of love story I'm referring here is similar to that of what friends share, that of a father and his kid/s have - these sort of things. And I'm not at all talking about sexual relationship or incest here, okay? It's a whole lot different from what I have been meaning to write about, for crying out loud.

What makes this kind of love story better than that mentioned above is the fact that it does not consider looks (you're an asshole if you're looking for a good-looking friend) as one of the fundamentals of the relationship (and a factor to get into a relationship with someone.) So you can consider it pure and, at the same time, real.

What am I trying to say (write) here? I don't know. Maybe none, really. I just feel like typing.

long and winding, indeed

This is my favorite song, ever. This applies to almost every aspect of my life: to writing, to those assholes, who, apparently, just came to my life to teach me something (and sadly, they meant just to teach), and to Him.

It's hard when you're in a situation that the very thing you can't do is to turn away. You can, and the hurting would stop. Only that, in truth, it wouldn't. And you know that, has always known that. So you end up taking that road, traveling it, hoping that someday, you'll get there.

******

I heard Regine was sick when she did this. I'm glad she was. It made the song sound heartfelt. She made herself sound like she's not her. And it worked beautifully.

pre-work exercise

Last night, before heading back to Manila for work, I went to my old [former] school (not that I'm in a new one right now) with one of my closest friends, Angus. It was the Ikatlong Gawad Digmaang Rosas Literary Awards Night (organized by The Angelite, the official student publication of Holy Angel University. ) My friend Angus had submitted an entry to the said competition. I came there to give him moral support.

As expected, he grabbed the Angelite Fictionist of the Year award (The entries were judged by a Palanca-winner poet from UST.) I am very proud of him, and am happy that he won. This is the second time he had won the award. I had the opportunity of being one the first people to have read his entries (short stories and poems.) When I laid eyes on his works, I knew right away that he would win; I was certain about it.

Some say that it takes a writer to know one. I say, not really. One doesn't have to be a good writer to recognize one, and to be able to appreciate what we consider as good writing.

*******

Congratulations Angs! You so deserve it. Keep on writing.

sinister

Samples of Greenwood's original music for There Will Be Blood:



To check out the other two, try this link. My favorite (Future Market) is there.

another year

Time is running so fast that all we can do is watch it pass through us.