moving out, and more

Today is my last day at work. No, I will not be having my rest days the day after or be on leave. I am officially out of this mess. Work, that is. It's already the effectivity date of my resignation. Technically, it should be tomorrow, but because it's a bank holiday, I don't have to be here. I feel good about leaving this time, unlike my seperation with the previous companies I had worked with. I have a lot of friends, and crushes, here but the want to leave is too much to even consider them. I feel free now. I am scheduled for a final interview tomorrow. That I am looking forward to. I hope I make it though. If not, then so be it. I have decided not to overthink things out days ago. I'm sticking to it. If I can give myself a pat at the back, I would have done it already. I actually can, but I don't want to look ridiculous.

tree of life, and the sadness that lingered

I want to see Tree of Life. Again. Now. Sure, watching it made me cry, and the sadness that came with it lingered. Until now. I still feel it. Everytime I think of the movie, and the scenes I love in it, I'd feel bad. Sometimes it's not just sadness. It's something different. Something I don't know what to call, or name. What's weird is that I don't think I totally get what the movie really was about. I have things in mind but it could be different from what the writer has in his. However, I felt it. My heart understood.

untitled 6:55PM

For the nth time, I would just like to write about how much I hate my job. It's just an easy job. It pays well. I get to buy things I like and help my family financially. But it's what I do when I'm working that I hate the most. Listening to people complain when I have so much on my plate already makes me sick. Others just don't complain, like it's not enough for one to take. They blame you. Now, my managers, both at present and in the past, would always tell me to not take it personally. I can't help it though. And now, I'm planning to go back to school this June. Extra pressure. If I stay in this job while studying, I might as well just kill myself. This is a thought that comes to mind everytime I think about it. But I need a degree to get out of this mess. A mess I, partly, created for myself. And everytime I try to think of the best way to free myself from all of this craziness, there's only one thing that I really want to do: Go home.

just sayin'

So a friend started blogging again here, Blogger. In Filipino. Or make that Taglish (Tagalog-English), which is kind of awesome because Taglish, for me, is cool. I have always wanted to do it myself, blogging in Filipino. I had started and actually posted some entries already, but it didn't quite feel right then so I deleted them. I don't think I will ever try again. I don't get the same feeling when writing in Filipino as when reading something written in the said language.

in exactly 3 hours and 34 minutes

As always, life is boring. Nothing interesting had happened in the past weeks that's life changing. I had coffee with a friend last saturday, this time at SB. Their Cafe Latte tasted like that of Starbucks, which makes sense. I am supposed to write how awesome I feel that my rest day will officially start in just a few hours. Suddenly, though, it doesn't feel as exciting as it felt a few minutes ago. Weird. But then again, I am an inconsistent theorist. It shouldn't be so surprising.

the inconsistent is back part III

But it doesn't feel right posting the same post I had posted on my other blog. I mean what's the sense of maintaining two blogs with the same content? I could just delete my other blog and continue blogging here, but I can't just do it. The other blog, where I have been actively blogging for months now, contains not just words but my thoughts and feelings. It's me. I guess I'll stop overthinking about this whole blogging thing. Besides I have so many things to do. I havent finished reading the novel I started few years ago. And there's TV.

And this is me talking to myself.

a place where i belong

I suddenly miss my niece, Thea. She’s my everything. I love her to death and I’d die for her. I haven’t seen her in such a long time though. I haven’t been home for months now. I don’t want to go home yet. Not now. I wanted to be with my family so badly but the thought that I might not be able to come back here (the city) is stopping me from spending time with them. I work here and I just can’t give my work up.

Every time I’m there, home, I just couldn’t think of any other place I want to be at but there. I remember being absent from work a couple of times on the first day of the work week after my two-day off. It has always been a struggle to force myself back to the city. Always. And I’ve been avoiding that for the longest time now. That pains me more than anything else in the world.

the inconsistent is back part II

I actually had written one fiction in Tagalog here last night. I posted it. I saved it as draft just now. I don't think it was such a good idea, me writing in Filipino. It even sucks more than me writing in English. What I'll do is that I'll post whatever I'm posting in Wordpress here starting today. Those that I had posted already on my other blog will stay and be left there. I don't want to do a manual transfer.

not now, not yet.

I tried the plan. It failed even before I started. Tagalog fiction I could try. Will probably just do that instead of sharing my thoughts and experiences. Will post my first Pinoy fiction really soon. I hope the interest wouldn't fade, as it always does with so many other things I've tried in the past.

the inconsistent is back

I've been actively blogging with Wordpress for the past weeks. Just recently though, I realized that I prefer Blogger over it. I asked a friend if he knows how to import entries from my other blog in here. He didn't think Blogger has that option. Or the other way around. Now if I really want to transfer all my posts from Wordpress, I would have to do it manually. And I'm not doing it.

I have come up with the idea of continuing to blog here. In Filipino. I have always wanted to try it, blogging in Filipino. The only thing that gets in the way of me starting doing it is the fact that I'm not good in expressing myself in the said language. And this is not to say that I'm good in doing so in English or any other language.

So the next post will already be in Filipino. When will the next post be, I don't have any idea.